Grief is a process

 This Chapter has by far been my favorite so far. In the first paragraph in the chapter, Lewis opens up by saying "I thought I could describe a state(referring to grief), make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process."  I think at this point, the reader can definately learn from what he went through. He no longer shows doubt as much as he used to about God, but he has accepted her death for what it is and is trying to live again.  I think it's so true by saying that grief is not a state of being but it's a rough process to go through. You can't map out what grief looks like because it is always changing everyday and is never the same. As I wrote in the first few blogs about this book, grief takes time and healing for each person. Grief is not something you can read before it happens and prepare for it because you honestly don't know how you will handle it because it's a constant process and growth and a rollercoaster of the ups and downs with emotions. However, I feel like reading A Grief Observed will help someone who is in the grieving process and needs hope and comfort. I believe this book can change a person's life and help them overcome these obstables. This book isn't about research on a particular subject with academic references, but is rather a true story of his personal stuggles with grief. Therefore, how can anyone say this isn't a good book?  This is his experience with grief and how HE delt with it... not how everyone deals with it. That's what makes this book so wonderful and inspiring to read. You get to read and feel what's going on in his head and how he overcomes this. This is a story of a Christian who lets these circumstances control his emotions and feelings towards his relationship with God, but also it's a story of how God is there with you no matter what happens and Lewis is realizing that and no longer questions God's love for his people.
   On the positive side, Lewis tells how there are "...two enormous gains..." from all this.  One of his gains was that he "Turned to God,my mind no longer meets that locked door; turned to H(his wife)., it no longer meets that vacuum-nor all that fuss about my mental image of her."  This is a true example of how Christians are not perfect and we do struggle and doubt because we are human, but we do serve a God that is perfect and forgiving and  who loves us unconditionally.

  

Holding On and Not Letting Go

  C.S. Lewis put a collection of journal entries about the struggles he endured with grief after the death of his wife.  These collections of his grieving thoughts was later put into a book called, A Grief Observed, and is a best seller.  I love this book because he shows the reader that he is human just like everyone else and he went through the pain and suffering of losing a loved one like many people have. In the pieces that I read, his thoughts are even more relevent to someone who can't get over the loss of a loved one and has gone mad in a way.  He descrribes his feelings of trying to keep her even though she's gone.  He states that people try to keep the same rituals going even when the person isn't there. Just like how Queen Victoria became a little crazy after the death of her husband.  She would have her deceased husband's clothes put out for dinner every evening. Lewis describes it as "It made the dead far more dead".  I believe people who do these have not accepted the fact that their  loved one is gone and will no longer be here to experience maybe dinner together or celebrated an anniversary together or so on.  People don't like to let go and Lewis' comments about this is so relevant to anyone that is having a hard time letting go... no matter if you are the Queen of England, a famous writer, or just Jane Doe who isn't well known.  He is right when he states that people need to realize that doing these things will keep your longing for them to be alive again and "emphasizes their deadness".  He has come to a realization that he can't keep holding on if he wants to remember her. HE HAS TO MOVE ON.... and this passage could definately be a good thing for someone to read who is going through the same thing he is. This book is definitely about real and personal experience which makes this even more interesting to read.