"A Grief Observed" Chapter 2

In Chapter 2 in A Grief Observed, it shows the feelings of a once strong, and faithful Christian author, C.S. Lewis.  He devotes most of this chapter talking about how he reread the first chapter and realized how he sounded so selfish talking about the effect of his wife's death on him instead of thinking about how she suffered. He also talked about how people would tell him how she was in God's hands, but nothing was ever comforting to him. He wanted her here and was mad that God took her away from him. He stated, "Kind people have said to me, "She is with God. In one sense that is most certain. She is like God, incomprehensible and unimaginable. But if so, she was in God's hands all the time, and I have seen what they did to her here.  Do they suddenly become gentler to us the moment we are out of the body? And if so, Why?  If God's goodness is inconsistent with hurting us, then either God is not good or there is no God: for in the only life we know He hurts us beyond our worst fears and beyond all we can imagine.  If it is consistent with hurting us, then He may hurt us after death as unendurably as before it."  He also doubts by saying "What chokes every prayer and every hope is the memory of all the prayers H(his wife) and I offered and all the false hopes we had."  He obviously at this point seems like he is still angry at God for taking his wife from him.  As a Christian and reading this, I guess it's easy to read this and think "wow, I can't believe he would say some of these bad things about God", but then I keep thinking about what it would be like if my Mom, Dad, or Husband had died. I'm so close to all of them that I'm sure I would be doubting some things about God. I believe it's human for us to think like that but as a Christian, I have to really keep in the back of my mind that God is really with us and we were told by God that we are not going to be here for eternity. It's just sad to read this knowing what a great Christian author he was.